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Saturday, October 17, 2015

October 2015

Colin,
You are the apple of our eye. You are the chillest, calmest little dude we could have ever asked for. You honestly only cry if you are hungry or tired. I love your BIG eyes. You have this wide eyed look that just makes me smile when I look at you. You have really started baby talking this week saying things like "mama" and "dada". You can officially roll over from front to back, back to front! We've all been helping you with this sitting up unassisted business, and you're getting there slowly. You light up every time you see your sister, and she can get you to giggle especially when  you both are in the car together.

Kylie,
You are definitely my quintessential little two year old. You are testing your boundaries, seeing how much freedom you can get away with. Mommy and Daddy are both trying to figure out how to let you know there's rules without crushing your little spirit, or making you feel like you're always being told no. We love you so much. I love how most people are impressed with what a good communicator you are. You say full sentences, and even use some Spanish phrases. You love helping out with your "buddy" aka Colin. Can I just say I love you call him buddy!? "It's OK buddy!" "Don't cry buddy" "Good morning buddy!"

Me,
Embarking on a more hands free journey, putting away distractions, especially the phone when the kids are awake. Being fully present in the moments, and making sure that I'm making my children's childhood memories happy ones. I want them to remember a mom who played with them, and wasn't distracted. Also, I'm trying and learning to keep my patience having a full out toddler, some days are easier then others, that's for sure. Loving doing zumba every Friday and working on getting this mama body of mine in shape. TV show obsessions is Mindy Project and Nashville. Reading Gretchen Rubin's (Happiness Project),  Elizabeth Gilbert (Big Magic), and Brene Brown (Rising Strong) books. I miss my hubby when he's doing school + work, but I know this time will pass. Love 100 calorie popcorn bags, any dinner involving spaghetti squash, and my diet coke. General conference was amazing for me and I can't believe it's almost the end of October! ;)

Sunday, June 21, 2015

Happy Father's Day Dad

It's your turn Dad, your turn for me to heap on the praise, though this may seem obligatory I assure you its not. We all knew pretty early on I was destined to be a daddy's girl. The way I followed you around when you were home, I always wanted dad's approval.... I was a daddy's girl!

There you are Dad a 20 year old kid living in Austria on a full time LDS mission. I always admired you for serving a mission. I loved your mission stories, the dedication it took, especially serving in Europe. You taught all us kids about believing in something so powerfully you will drop all selfish ambitions to dedicate yourself to its service. It must have been lonely but you served an honorable full time mission. 


You came home met and convinced my mother into marrying you. You were just 21 years old and she was already a graduated school teacher. I love hearing your dating stories, and seeing your relationship even now. Because of you Dad I was given the amazing gift of a stay at home mom! You always cared for your sweetheart and we could all see it. 

You had what was it 5 kids in 7 years with my mom, also taking into account you were still doing school & working full time. If you asked any of us kids we wouldn't remember your head crammed in the books, or you being so tired you couldn't play with us. You see you ALWAYS could and did play with us. You threw us up in the air, lifted us so we felt like we were flying, taught us to ride our bikes, how to swing a baseball bat, the list is endless. The school and career you accomplished while supporting an entire household will always be a marvel to me. You never complained about the sheer stress of it all to us. All us kids ever knew was that we were so glad when daddy came home. 

I love you dad. You gave me love and attention. You made me feel so special. I loved your nickname for me, it was something that bonded us together. Thank you for the plays you watched I was in, for the support you gave me when I traveled, for the love you showed the man of my dreams when he asked your permission to marry me. 


You're our rockstar! We all love to brag how David Devey is our dad! And yeah he can still show off and beat his sons at most sports ;) love you forever daddy!



Monday, June 8, 2015

Colin Russell Barker Blessing Day




Colin, my dear sweet baby boy. I have such a strong overwhelming connection to you. I feel like you came down from our pre-existent state to help me. You were our surprise, we hadn't planned you, you came when it was your time. You have had the calmest, sweetest disposition. When our eyes meet there's just something I see there I can't deny... you are my son.

Mommy was nervous to raise boys. Your mama never had guy friends growing up, but if there was a big group of giggling females she was in the midst. I get girls, I love girl talk, and all things feminine. Now, how was I gonna do with boys, who like to annoy you just cause, who love wrestling and contact sports? Who can fight and makeup in nothing flat? Who love seeing how things go together and tools? Would my boys think I was cool? Why was I even worrying about my "coolness" factor? But I was, and do. One look at you buddy and all those fears drifted away and were replaced with the purest love and joy I'd ever experienced. I'm now a mom of a boy. I get to teach you how to be a man and a husband someday.

Blessing you was our treat. Dad said you were wide eyed and cooing the entire blessing. My favorite moment was when the blessing was finished and dad did the "lift and show us your bundle of cuteness" part, you were in a sitting position, wide eyed, and holding your little hands together in your lap just staring at everyone. You are adorable. I wanted to stand up and shout that little bundle is all mine! We love you Colin!

Thank you to everyone who came 
xo


Sunday, May 10, 2015

MOM

Mom. The woman who carried me for 9 months and has raised me.  You never taught me to care about the crowd, so let’s forget about them for a moment. I want to talk about you this Mothers day. 

You met my dad in an LDS singles ward where he was your FHE leader. He was fresh off the mission and you were a returned missionary from Australia + already graduated college teaching elementary school. You couldn't believe he was at first interested in you. I’d give all the money in my account for a chance to witness the moment you met. 

You’ve been married for awhile now, Mom. Every time I'm over to visit I see you and dad together and so happy. You two truly are best friends. Dad is always looking over at me making comments like; "Isn't she gorgeous?" And the ever so awkward, "Isn't your mom HOT!?!" But all kidding aside I see the way he looks at you, and that's why I believed in happily ever afters. 

You and dad gave me two brothers and two sisters, five kids altogether. It was just the seven of us. Nothing else mattered. We were a team, even when—especially when—things were hard.  It's no lie that us Devey kids have personalities, we all happen to lean on the outgoing side, making raising us as teenagers hard work. You were amazing Mom. I look back and only remember your kindness, the way you always had time to listen, the home cooked dinners, going to church together, the FHE's, family movie nights, and awesome family vacations.

 How did you do it Mom!? You are a super hero. I've never heard you complain about your role as a Mother, even though it is the hardest most demanding on call thing in the world. You are never too tired to love me, Mom. And you are never too afraid to believe in me. You were excited for me when I'd try out for the lead parts in plays, auditioned for a college dance company with no formal training, decided at 19 to go on a study abroad to London, England, go live abroad in China. You were always my best friend, biggest fan, and kindest supporter. 

Now I'm a Mom. You're still always there helping your three daughters transition into Motherhood. I was such a young girl until I had my daughter, having a baby made me a mom. Everything I know about being a mom comes from you. Mom's are selfless, always there for you as their child, they don't judge you, they don't pick sides, they delight in your happiness, and cry for your pain. That’s why I’m out there having babies of my own + taking risks, Mom. Because you taught me that if I feel like I'm failing, so what? I can come home to you and you will look at me and your eyes will always say: You are my dream come true. Who cares what else you are? Who cares?

Not me.

And here is the moral of your story: You taught us that what matters is love, and that love is relentlessly showing up for your family. Being there in person, or over the phone. You still hold family dinners for us and even plan big vacations for all of us to go on together. Your love is never ending. We all love you fiercely. Happy mothers day Mom!

Friday, March 13, 2015

Colins Birth Story


Monday I had my doctors appt. for my 39th week check-up. I was entirely too hopeful I was going to walk in there, be progressed enough that my doctor would just keep me there. Despite my painful wobbling, being 4 cm dilated and 90% effaced it was not too be. To ease the blow, Russell came up with a plan that we'd do a fun activity everyday this week, so that when I'd wake up still pregnant, I could have something to cheer me up. Monday we got In-N-Out and watched the finale of The Bachelor together. Tuesday I woke up just feeling like please let it be today! We all went on a day trip to liberty park downtown. I was walking as much as I could in order to get things moving. I even went up and down the slides with Kylie (somewhat against Russell's better judgement). When I talked to my mom I broke down; I used to be against getting induced, but being in so much pain and sick all of the time, I couldn't remember my "reasons" anymore. My doctor and I had discussed the possibility of me getting induced. The next morning I woke up, had Kylie in her highchair to eat her breakfast when I get a call from my doctors office. My nurse told me there was an induction open for that morning at 9 am if I was willing. I quickly called Russell, who was already on his way to school, saying "Do you want me to have the baby at 9am today?" I then explained what had just happened. He told me, "That sounds good to me. I'm already turned around and on my way." I quickly called my mom about meeting us at the hospital to get Kylie, and once Russell arrived we were on our way. 

// A lovely pre-baby shot for your viewing pleasure //

Getting induced honestly felt the same as naturally going into labor with Kylie. They broke my water and my contractions were immediately 3 minutes apart hitting the 70's on the graph they use to measure contraction intensity (the graph doesn't go above 100). So in other words, I wanted the epidural STAT. I looked at my nurse worried about the anesthesiologist coming; I didn't want to risk not getting the epidural in time. He came shortly after that and administered the epidural. After a surprisingly bad 'zing' down my right leg caused by brushing hard against the nerve it started to work great and I was again ready. My doctor wasn't there yet so to stall they propped me up on my side to ensure the baby was in position but not going to come while waiting. Russell and I sat reading to each other like the sweet old couple we are ;). My doctor finally made her grand entrance and next thing I know it I'm pushing away. After about a solid 15 minutes of pushing, Colin was here. 


There was a moment I knew he was coming because as I was pushing I looked up into my husband's face and saw his eyes tearing up with pure joy, and I knew it was because he was seeing his son for the first time. Now if that didn't give me motivation to give my all to those final pushes I don't know what will! When he came out and the nurses placed him on my chest I started to cry.... it was all worth it; the pain, the sickness, heck everything and beyond would have been worth it for my baby!!! He was beautiful, and my heart was literally bursting with love inside of my chest. I couldn't stop saying, "It's my baby!" He was perfectly healthy so they just cleaned him off and weighed him. We then immediately got down to the business of breast feeding, which he rocked! I was immediately attached I just wanted to hold him. We had been torn between 2 names but when I saw him I knew he was my Colin. 


During our stay in the hospital Russell and I decided to enjoy ourselves as much as possible. We loved the time we had to just talk about everything. We honestly loved how many people came to visit and with whom we were able to talk. We are both suckers for visitors. During the two and a half days we also took advantage and poured over the menus deciding which delectable dishes we were going to sample that day, relishing every bite. Lets just say that the food did not go to... waist. ;)

I was so nervous about being a mom of two littles. I didn't know how I could love them equally, juggle both schedules, breastfeed and chase around a 20 month old. I had so many fears bouncing around before I had Colin but when I held him in my arms I felt such a sweet peace enter my soul; I knew I could do this. I AM Kylie's and Colin's mother. Kylie's first time meeting her little brother was one moment I knew that Colin was meant to come down now, to be her little brother. Kylie just kept kissing him, smiling at him, and wanting us to let her hold him. In Kylie's mind Colin was "her baby". Having this little boy has brought the sweetest joy into my soul. I've never felt this blissfully happy + content. I have never felt this confident + secure in where I'm at in my life. I am a mother, and to the sweetest most precious newborn!!!! I'm bursting with joy y'all! Hahaha. I love babies.

Friday, March 6, 2015

My Testimony

I was tagged by the beautiful Stephi Kay to write a post featuring my testimony of the gospel. It being the number one most important thing in my life should make it easy to write about. ;)

My testimony was honestly one of those that has grown precept upon precept, here a little and there a little. My parents were both members of the LDS church, both RM's (Austria + Australia), they were sealed in the SLC temple, and have been active faithful members my entire life. To say that they influenced me is an understatement, because of their example I was baptized at the age of 8 in the tabernacle downtown, I attended church activities, youth activities, girls camps, I also remember us always doing FHE (Family Home Evening) and family scripture study. The seed was planted, and it grew steadily. I knew it was a good seed, I knew what my parents were teaching me, what the church was telling me was true. I remember there was a time I studied different religions and faiths doctrines and core beliefs.... The gospel to me was like a glass table that was shattered when the priesthood was taken from the earth (great apostasy), over time religions have picked up chunks of this table, but none have the table full in tact. Every time I researched other faiths I'd find these chunks of gospel truth, but then something would always be missing. The LDS church is the full glass table! It has all the truth, the answers, it is literally the church that Jesus originally brought to the Earth.

I haven't always been perfect, I knew the truth, but that didn't stop me from making mistakes. There was a small period of my life I actually stopped attending church, it lasted for about 2 months. It began with me skipping out after Sunday school, and then right after sacrament, to just not even going. I rationalized that it doesn't hurt to miss a few Sundays here and there. I told myself the relief society girls just weren't that inviting. The list of excuses could honestly be endless, but every time I fed myself one of these excuses I knew I was lying to myself, missing church did matter. One night I remember just sitting there and I felt this feeling of shame.... shame for what I was doing, who I was becoming. There was this little voice within me that just said, "you are FAR greater than what you are becoming, you need to change." I felt prompted to open my scriptures and that's where I read Nephi's account where he laments the sins that easily beset him, wishing to cast them off and be a better man. I felt that, more real then I'd ever felt that desire. I needed and wanted to be a better woman. The very next day things just fell into my lap and next thing I knew I was all set up to go spend an entire semester living in mainland China. I knew I needed to get out of my comfort zone, go to a 3rd world country where I'd be cut off from social media/internet/cell phones, a place that I could focus 100%  on studying the gospel.


When I went to China I told myself I was going to read my scriptures until I felt the spirit. The first time I sat down and read it took me 3 hours of straight reading before I felt the spirit. Over time it only took an hour and a half, then just half an hour, to just 5 minutes. I was determined everyday to have a spiritual experience. Suddenly the scriptures were opened to me in a way they'd never been before. I'd pray right before reading, I'd have a spiritual journal opened at my side, and for the first time in my life I'd actually write in my scriptures, circling the passages that hit home for me. I blew through the bible (old and new). On a sleeper train to Beijing I read the entire Book of Mormon cover to cover in 26 hours. Later I'd read D&C, and the Pearl of Great Price. I wanted and needed to read it all! This was God's words, and for the first time they were truly speaking to me. I remember thinking God seemed like he couldn't really honestly care for every single one of us with how much he is in charge of. But as I read the scriptures I couldn't deny how CARING, how PATIENT, how CONSTANT, his love REALLY is. I came to know and to feel how my Father in Heaven truly feels about us, and I was BLOWN away.......... I still am. China changed my life. For the first time in a long time I felt proud of the woman I was becoming. I felt like I was honestly tapping into that divine potential within me, and I was living up to it.

I KNOW that this gospel is the true church on Earth, restored by a TRUE prophet of god. Joseph Smith was and is an incredible man. If your testimony is a little shaky about Joseph Smith, seriously just study his life. Silly as this may sound but the Work and the Glory books helped me get to know who Joseph Smith was. One of my friends said it best, history is peoples opinions about certain events and people. If you are studying and trying to understand who a person was, is it fair to study his life through the stories of his haters, the gossipers, the ones who honestly didn't really even know him? You should study it from accounts of his closest friends, parents, those who actually grew up and lived with him. I'd hope if someone studied my life when I die they wouldn't ask the people who disliked me in grade school! I'd hope they'd ask my friends, my college roommates, my parents, my siblings, my husband, my children, people who actually knew me. From studying out his life and accounts from those closet to him I KNOW Joesph Smith was a true prophet of God.

I recently listened to the biography of Thomas S. Monson and am BLOWN away by how evident it is that he also is a true prophet of god, prepared since infancy for his calling now. I have only ever seen him in conference centers, but when he has walked into that huge room I have felt the spirit beaming from his countenance. Hearing him speak, I can't deny that here is a good man, and a prophet of our God.

I have a testimony of Jesus Christ..... He is EVERYTHING. He took upon him every mistake, every little sin I'd constantly commit in life, every heartache and pain I'd feel just so I can live with my Heavenly Father again. He knows how important that end goal is, to live in the presence of our Father that he took upon him EVERYONE'S sins so that they too can come back into the presence of their Father.

I have a testimony of the divinity of womanhood.  Adam called Eve "the mother of all living" before she ever even had, had a child. We as woman have a power within us that is equal to the divinity of the priesthood. We go into a literal partnership with GOD in bringing human life to the earth. Our bodies have the capability to not only grow a human life, but then to sustain that life after we've had them. Woman are everything to our father in heaven. We are so sacred, so pure, so beautiful, and so divine.

These things I share with you all in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Baby #2/ 38 Weeks



I am just going to say it, I am SO ready to be done. With Kylie I thought I knew what big, pregnant, and uncomfortable meant. Well, I knew NOTHING haha. This pregnancy has been a lot harder, a lot more painful, a lot bigger and whole lot more uncomfortable then when I was carrying Kylie. Because of this, I keep catching myself complaining about being pregnant more than I'd like to admit. and how unfortunate, because deep down, I'm so thankful we're having another baby, and so proud of my body for being able to keep up with the demands of growing this tiny human so far. I have to admit the last weeks I'd been a whole lot more content, and happy, and thankful that it's happening at all. As of yesterday that go happy attitude took a turn for the worse. I officially can't walk normal, I'm not even kidding, I HAVE to waddle! I also can't cross my legs when I'm sitting, even if I wanted to. I heard someone once say that they got to a point where they felt there was a bowling ball between their legs..... I completely understand this statement now haha. I know I could hold out if that's what baby boy needs, but I am praying to be blessed to go earlier like I did with my first.

Fingers crossed.

xoxo

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

3rd Year Anniversary

// hotel //

Our third year anniversary came! There's a part of me that feels like we are still that young fresh newlywed couple, not a couple that has 3 whole years under our belts. I'd never been in a relationship before my husband, so kind of crazy to realize I've been a married woman for 3 years with a 19 month old + a baby on the way! We didn't waste time ;)

Our anniversary was SO much fun. We couldn't travel anywhere due to how far along in the pregnancy I am so we had ourselves a little overnighter. We had a gorgeous hotel, ate at amazing places, indulged in ice cream that is insanely good, and finished the night cuddled in the hotel watching the Bachelor. It is so nice being alone just him + I.
3 years down and yes eternity to go!!!!

Baby #2/ 36 Weeks

36 Weeks

I can't believe I could basically have only 2 more weeks left. I had Kylie at 38 weeks and my doctor said she wouldn't be surprised if our little man came around then as well. Tmi for some but I like to record this information for myself, I am 3 cm dilated and 80% effaced! There's a part of me that wants him to stay in all 40 weeks cuz being a mom of 1 I sort of have under control. Mom of two? In 2 maybe 4 weeks!? That idea has me leaning towards wanting it to be for four more weeks. I do have to say every little baby I've been seeing is pulling at my heart knowing mine is on the way!!!

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Baby Shower



Can I start this off just saying how fun this baby shower was! My mom, sister Heather, and sister in law Krystal pulled the entire shower off effortlessly! I'm having a boy this time around, so it was super duper helpful to receive gifts that are for the little boy! I dressed Kylie up as girly as I could, so I'm excited to make the switch to boy town. Mentioning just two of my gifts for him that had me giddy: a classic, gorgeous black fur minky and a onesie with a bow tie attached to it. Don't fret, I am being proactive using this minky in the meantime to, you know, get my scent all over it. I am getting more and more excited for the day of his arrival being at 34 weeks during this shower. Pay in mind I had my first baby at 38 weeks..

 // Morgan + Marianne + Evette //
// Jess + Holli + Nicole //
 // Paula + Mom + Jen + Nena //
// my cousin at 29 weeks + me 34 weeks //

These were the only pictures I got so I apologize in advance because there were many many faces of the ladies in my life I truly love I didn't get a picture of! We are so thankful ya'all came to celebrate our 2nd one on the way. I loved socializing + being able to celebrate this pregnancy. It's kind of insane how much it can take out of you to grow a human being, and ya'all have heard about it via social media. But seriously though, thank you for the show of genuine compassion and support. It's so worth it in the end. We are so excited for him to get here and I will reveal his name is going to be just 5 letters long ;) 

Xoxo

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Bump #2 / 31 Weeks



Well, we’re getting closer and closer and as a result, I'm getting more and more excited! I'm also getting more and more nasueous + tired and forgetting the simplest things. but that’s another story for another day. This mama is struggling with nasuea + insomnia like it’s nobody’s business. i guess it’s just good practice for all the middle of the night milk parties that are gonna take place after everyone else is asleep at our home once baby arrives.  

While i might be more of a negative this round (although i’m trying not to be really. I really am!), Russell and Kylie are nothing short of ecstatic. It’s nice too because they always know how to boost my mood and help me get excited again. Russell has been pushing for the name Dante, and one day I said, “but that sounds like a spanish kids name to me” to which Russell said, "well...we do live in west valley!" lol. 

Besides my routine check-ups at my regular doctor’s office, I've been getting some extra attention and love and care each day at home thanks to my in-house nurses (my amazing mom, mother-in-law, and hot Russell). These last few weeks of pregnancy are always a little up and down for me. after 30-something weeks, you forget you’re not going to be pregnant forever and that this is almost over.  It’s kind of a bittersweet.  It's like, I'm ready to be able to lean down and pick something up off the floor with ease, or tie my shoe, or just roll onto my stomach at night when I'm sleeping.  I'm ready to not be throwing up in pain anymore, because that sucks. I'm anxious to just hold my baby, and know for certain that he is healthy and alright. But mostly, I'm ecstatic to meet my little one and to feel all the good and peace and love a new baby brings.